Falling Down on New Jersey
©1990 Mitchell Burnside Clapp
It's a damn tough life far from home and wife
that we astronauts undergo.
And we don't give a damn when the mission's done
just how far the ship did go.
But you'll be sad to learn our de-orbit burn
won't be made for the tanks are empty.
And the fuel line's torn, so you'd better warn
all the folks in New Jersey.
Chorus:
We're falling down on New Jersey, me boys;
Falling down on New Jersey.
We thought it wise to apologize
To the folks in New Jersey.
Well it's widely known that a ship alone
would be burned up and destroyed.
But the ship and crew brought with us too
an eleven mile asteroid.
So when you've awoken all the folks in Hoboken
and the profs at Princeton too,
We'll divulge the fact that the rock's impact
will be at 7:32.
We're falling down on New Jersey, me boys;
Falling down on New Jersey.
We thought it wise to apologize
To the folks in New Jersey.
Well, why all the shock? Hell it's just a rock.
Are we just alarmist fools?
But it has, you see, potential energy
of roughly ten to the nineteenth joules.
With the rock's advance there is Buckley's chance
that the Garden State'll be spared.
And soon we'll show (if you didn't know)
E is one-half MV squared.
We're falling down on New Jersey, me boys;
Falling down on New Jersey.
We thought it wise to apologize
To the folks in New Jersey.
We will strike a spark that'll toast Newark
and will flatten Perth Amboy.
It won't be pretty in Atlantic City.
You should shade your eyes in Troy.
Even so, and yet, we have one regret:
that we haven't the delta V
To push it forth just a few miles north
to land smack on NYC.
We're falling down on New Jersey, me boys;
Falling down on New Jersey.
We thought it wise to apologize
To the folks in New Jersey.
We're falling down on New Jersey, me boys.
Falling down on New Jersey.
We apologize--gee we're sorry guys!
What a drag for New Jersey.
Sources