m. c. de marco: To invent new life and new civilizations...

Bulwer-Lytton 2008

Via SFScope: it’s Bulwer-Lytton time again, and the 2008 winners have been denounced—I mean, announced. Bulwer-Lytton penned the eternal “It was a dark and stormy night,” and the contest challenges writers to produce worse opening lines than that gem.

Of special interest to our genres include the winner in the Fantasy Fiction category: “‘Toads of glory, slugs of joy,’ sang Groin the dward as he trotted jovially down the path before a great dragon ate him because the author knew that this story was a train wreck after he typed the first few words.” by Alex Hall of Greeley, Colorado.

In the Science Fiction category, a winner, runner-up, and dishonorable mention were named:

Winner: “Timothy Hanson, Commander of the 43rd Space Regiment in the 52nd Battalion on board the USAOPAC (United Space Alliance Of Planets Attack Carrier) and second in command to Admiral L. R. Morris of the USAOP Space Command, awoke early for breakfast.” by Joe Schulman of Cartersville, Georgia.

I will spare my readers the runner-up and dishonorable mention.